I want my nephew to know I will always love him and be available to him. Here are the ways I’m intentionally developing this important relationship.
From the day he was born and I first glimpsed my nephew’s face, I was smitten. My heart’s capacity to love stretched and deepened instantly, and I knew that I would do anything for my little guy. “Auntie Lala” became the role I treasure most in life.
He’s almost three years old now – sleeping in a “big boy bed,” excited to don an elephant costume for Halloween, and recently announced his desire to author a book titled “The Wonderful World of Concrete.” Toddlers and their developing personalities, interests, ideas, and antics, are hilarious.
I’m convinced that aunt life (or uncle life) is the best life. We have the unique opportunity to invest in our nieces and nephews and simply enjoy our time together…and then send them home to their parents at the end of the day. It’s a win-win.
My desire is to build a strong foundation with my nephew now so that he knows I will always love him and be available to him. Following are the ways I’m intentionally developing this important relationship. Hopefully, it will give you a few ideas as a current or future aunt or uncle.
Speak words of affirmation.
Our words matter. They can be life-giving when the encouragement offered is genuine and timely. Take every opportunity to affirm your niece or nephew’s intrinsic value, character growth and success. Ask questions. Listen for cues that point you to their needs. Let them know that they are important to you – in person, written in a card, on social media (when appropriate) or in a text.
Examples include:
- I love you.
- I’m thinking of you today. How can I pray for you?
- You took a risk and ___. I’m so proud of you.
- You make me smile.
- I’m listening. Tell me more.
- I noticed when you ____. That was so kind.
- How can I help you?
- You’re so smart and you studied hard. Way to go!
- I’m so glad you’re my nephew (or niece). You are a gift from God.
These messages will remind them that you care and that you’re paying attention to their lives. To be most effective, learn what type of encouragement specifically ministers to their heart and commit to expressing it. It will make your niece’s or nephew’s day. Give it a try and watch them light up!
Show up in their world.
My nephew loves music, so I’ve attended two of his Kindermusik lessons and listened to him conduct a stuffed animal orchestra from atop a box in the living room. His mini drum set and plastic instruments are among his favorite toys. I’m not the most musically inclined, but he can count on me to be a willing participant whenever he’s up for a concert.
What are your nieces and nephews into right now? How can you show up? Do you make yourself available to them as you are able?
If they live in the same town or nearby, try to arrange your schedule to attend ballgames, school plays or activities. Watch with enthusiasm, and put away your cell phone unless you’re snapping a quick photo of them in action. It will mean so much to them when they scan the audience and spot you in the crowd, cheering them on.
If you live far away from your family, surprise them during the holiday season. If you go home for Thanksgiving or Christmas, concoct with your siblings a plan to create a special surprise moment for their kids. Perhaps arrive after their bedtime so they awaken to you making pancakes for breakfast in the kitchen.
